The Journal of Ryoko Otonashi
by smx underground
Summary: My name is Ryoko Otonashi, at least I'm pretty sure it is. I was apparently rescued from Hope's peak academy. I'm not entirely sure what I was rescued from, but the general answer is that I'm better off not knowing.
1. Chapter 1

Entry 1

I'm not sure what they want me to write in this thing. No one's going to read this but Ms. Gekkohara had said that this would be an outlet for whatever I'm feeling.

I guess I should start at the beginning, My name is Ryoko Otonashi, at least I'm pretty sure it is. I was apparently rescued from Hope's peak academy. I'm not entirely sure what I was rescued from, but the general answer is that I'm better off not knowing.

Although I can't remember anything, I can tell that the others are wary of me. Aoi and Yasuhiro try to be friendly towards me but it seems like they're always on eggshells. Byakuya and Toko look at me with murderous intent, although that just might be how they are. I can't get a read on Kyoko at all, although she really doesn't want to talk to me.

The only one that I feel genuine warmth and friendliness from is Makoto Naegi. I can see that the others think him foolish for trusting me. It makes me wonder who I was before, but Naegi keeps telling me that who I am now is more important.

We were picked up by Future Foundation shortly after we escaped. They didn't like me either. I probably would have died if Makoto wasn't there. They stuck me into a cell and discussed what to do with me.

They subjected me to some basic psychological evaluation. It would have been hard to get a read on Ms. Gekkohara, if it weren't for the fact that she spoke through a little bunny avatar that wore it's heart on it's sleeves.

It's been a week and all I have is two friends and this journal. The Future Foundation is so keen on keeping secrets from me. Makoto says that it's for the best and they will tell me when the time is right.

Entry 2

So, they did find a School Record for a Ryoko Otonashi along with all the other data they managed to find in the school. Apparently, I'm the Ultimate Analyst; Odd talent for a girl with a history of Memory Loss. Apparently I have both Retrograde and Anterograde amnesia. I find that part a bit unbelievable. Sure, I don't know anything about my past, but I do remember everything from when I 'Woke up'.

Thinking about it, I guess an analyst would be a good talent for one with memory loss. Less things to interfere with an objective viewpoint. I can still tell that they're hiding something, even Makoto seems uneasy when I approach the subject.

Speaking of, everyone had their memories restored to them this week. Myself excluded of course. Ms. Gekkohara said that my past experience with Memory Loss could prove disastrous if I were to go through the procedure. If we go completely by my file, then It would be sound reasoning. The stimulation used in the memory recovery procedure would surely fry my brain.

But I'm not so sure about this file. I've retained memories from the last few weeks, so It's impossible for me to have any kind of short term memory loss. They realize this, and they know I realize this. I will get to the bottom of this.

Perhaps I'm closer to Kyoko than I thought.

Entry 3

Junko Enoshima…

That's a name that's almost impossible to escape from in Future Foundation. They would try to refrain from saying her name whenever I was around… Now I understand why.

Junko Enoshima was the mastermind behind the The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History. She had the deaths of many on her hands. Wars were fought just for war's sake. The School life of Mutual killing took the lives of ten students including her sister.

I… Used to be... Junko Enoshima.

Makoto had entered my room with some other foundation agents. He had told me that it was time I knew the truth. Apparently the truth required handcuffs.

Then they showed me the truth. The things I already knew and then the things I didn't know. It was Future Foundation that took away my memories of being Junko. They had wanted to Execute me, but Makoto had pointed out that killing me would make them no better than her. Besides, if any of what the others had said was the truth, Junko would've probably just gotten off on it. So the Foundation decided to wipe her memories.

Ryoko Otonashi was a name I came up with myself. Apparently I still had memories from the last time I came to, albeit That Ryoko is still a different person from who I am now.

I don't know how long I cried for. Makoto had said that I had killed someone the last time I learned who I really was. He had also reminded me that who I am is more important than who I used to be.

That didn't stop me from crying. Makoto and Kyoko both escorted me back to my room to let it all out.

The tears stopped, but my despair didn't. That's right, I was feeling despair. I don't see how I could enjoy this. It felt horrible, and I swear not to let anyone else succumb to it.


	2. Chapter 2

Entry 4

I, Ryoko Otonashi, sound of mind, am now officially apart of Future Foundation, 14th division with Makoto, Kyoko, And Byakuya. Toko of course had some choice words. I really can't disagree with her logic: Why employ The Ultimate Despair and not employ the serial killer.

Only difference is, I am no longer Junko Enoshima, She's still Genocide Jack (or Jill, depending on her mood.) I can't fault her through. I would feel the same way if Toko got the job before me. The Suit is kind of fitting though.

* * *

"We've received Intel that there are prisoners from the Killing game in Towa City." Kyoko Kirigiri announced in that morning meeting.

"Prisoners?" Makoto asked.

Ryoko took this opportunity to speak up, and join Kyoko at the projector screen "From what evidence we can gather. These are the loved held prisoner for the first motive in the school life of Mutual Killing."

Kyoko nodded her head, " If there's even a possibility that they're alive, we have to investigate"

"Let me guess," Byakuya started, "You want me to go out there."

"If that's too much to ask, then maybe I can investigate," Ryoko replied evenly.

"Are you seriously volunteering, Ryoko?" Makoto asked.

"You do know the risks involved, right?" Kyoko added.

"I do, and that's why I need to go out into the field. I need to know if I'm really in that much danger of… Reverting,"

The room got quiet, contemplating the whole situation.

"Hmph, What's to stop you from killing agents the second you got off the helicopter, anyway?" Byakuya said, not really expecting an answer, " At the very least, this facade of yours will last as long as you're here."

"That's enough!" Kyoko growled and crossed out her arms, "The both of you are going, and I want you to watch out for eachother."

After a brief sigh Kyoko closed her eyes, "Put your hand down, Toko, you're not going anywhere."

A grunt of disapproval sounded through the room followed by loud footsteps storming out the room.

"Whatever," Byakuya stood up and looked Ryoko straight in the eye, " All you need to do is give me a reason."

With that, he left the room, paying no heed to the looks his former classmates were giving him.

"You are invaluable, I hope you know that" Kyoko said, her tone unwavering.

"Yeah, I know that," Ryoko said evenly, "I don't actually blame him, though , honestly I'm a bit wary myself."

Makoto stood up, "You don't have to be, all of your psyche evals say you're fit enough for Future Foundation."

"I wish I could believe that, Makoto"

* * *

It was true, all my psyche evals showed that I was functioning normally, aside from the memory loss. I didn't believe it, and the more distrustful members of the division didn't believe it either. I don't know what it would take for her to come back. It could be one tiny step into too much despair. It could be something as simple as meeting one of her followers. I wonder if they would recognize her without her hair decorations. My hair was still bleached, but red roots were starting to show.

The helicopter ride was tense. Of course being in the same space as The Ultimate Rich Asshole is always tense. His eyes kept drilling into me. The least he could do is wait until we've landed.

Once we touched down, he immediately demanded that we split up. As if I already don't know that he's just waiting for me to turn. It doesn't matter, it just meant I met her first.

* * *

Komaru ran through the halls of her apartment building, trying to find a way to escape the two-toned murder bear that was chasing her. Suddenly being imprisoned in a two room apartment wasn't too bad.

She rounded the corner and saw the elevators. Seeing her chance, she tried to call one up, begging for it to hurry as the bear caught up to her her.

The elevator opened and Komaru saw a group of men in black suits. All seemingly led by a pink haired girl seemingly little older than her. The girl pointed a megaphone at her, but she was clearly aiming at the bear.

"You might want to clear the way." The girls stated.

Komaru nodded and got out of the way as the girl shot a blue sphere of energy labeled "Break" at the bear. Taking it's head clean off.

"Komaru Naegi?" The Girl asked.

Komaru nodded.

" Future Foundation, 14th Division. Ryoko Otonashi. Sorry about this."

* * *

Extra Entry 1

I guess I should mention that I've befriended Alter Ego. It's kind of embarrassing to admit this, but I've asked it to call me 'Big Sis' and to take the form of Mukuro when we're alone. I realize that it's silly to try to make thing up with the sister that I've never had and that Junko always mistreated. But after reading the case files, I just feel the need to make things right. Alter Ego's representation was far from perfect and from what the others told me, she would never be the type to say "Big Sis", but everyone has their own way of coping.


	3. Chapter 3

Entry 5

They took Byakuya. Because of course they did. Maybe instead of focusing on me, he should have been focusing on the actual threat. My own hostility aside, Komaru has found herself in another type of killing game. Not like the one she came up with. This one involved a group of children, no doubt following her, hunting everybody on their hit list. I'm getting sick even thinking about it. Toko is offering her help to Komaru, for what reason I have no idea other than to help rescue her "master". I'm not going to spend all this time getting Komaru stuck in my feud with Byakuya and his literary lapdog, so I usually scout ahead. It seems like everything is carefully constructed to lead Komaru to where she needs to be. She had a big complexity addiction, didn't she?

They had met Aoi's brother. Unfortunately he showed just what happened if you left the borders of Towa City. That's gonna be hard conversation to have with her. I was too far away when it happened, I couldn't even warn them. Yet another thing Toko is going to blame me for.

I can't let anyone see me. They could recognize me, and then… I rather not think about it. I stay out of sight of anybody, Only helping if absolutely necessary. Genocide Jack made quick work of the P.E. kid's robot. After that, they met Shirokuma, and I'm sure as hell not going to follow that thing. That A.I. had to come from somewhere and I already know I'm not going to like where it came from. The Adult Colony proved to be distrustful of Future Foundation, understandable given that most of the team sent here is either captured or dead. The Foundation isn't going to take any unnecessary risks. Besides I know a few people who would get a kick out of the idea of me being devoured by a Monokuma.

I followed them to Towa tower, and of course now they're being hunted by the kid with the hate fetish. They Actually found another person on the hit list, this one was for one of the students I never got to meet, Technically. Tachi Fujisaki is the father of Chihiro Fujisaki, who in turn created Alter Ego. Whom I'm currently having take the form of her sister for me. I may need to make an appointment with Ms. Gekkohara when this is all over.

In any case, this was one of the rare times when I had no choice but to meet up with them. There was a sort of unspoken agreement with Toko and I. Whatever was going on between us, Komaru shouldn't be in the middle of, at least that's what interpreted. Honestly the mind of Toko Fukawa was a mess to try and figure out.

Once again, I felt helpless. Mr. Fujisaki was attacked by feral Monokumas as soon as he got the Elevator fixed. There was no way any of us could have seen that coming. Toko was scowling in my direction. The girl is so unsubtle about her emotions you can tell what she's thinking from a kilometer away.

The elevator stopped, never a good sign. Komaru and Toko opened the Elevator door and through it I already knew that I couldn't be seen on this floor. I leaned against the Elevator, to get feel for the situation.

The kid had issues, just like everyone in that group. His mom apparently made him put a mask on every day. My suspicions were correct. These kids were Junko's followers. From what this one was saying, they worshipped her, even. They even called her Big Sis Junko.

Komaru was starting to worry me. She had exploded at the kid before the battle, which was normal after he was talking about genocide. After the battle though…

* * *

The Monokuma kids dragged Jatarou off as soon as he lost the battle, as they did with Masaru. Toko and Komaru just stood there, absorbing everything that happened.

Toko was the first one to speak, "They're fighting? Again? What is this?"

Komaru was more somber in tone, trying to find the words to fit was she was about to say.

"... Serves him right."

Toko 's eyes widened, "What did you say?"

"Let's go, Toko"

"Komaru!"

The two looked back and saw Ryoko walking out of the elevator.

Toko scoffed, "Took you long enough to join us."

Ryoko ignored her and looked into Komaru's eyes, "I understand how you're feeling, but don't let this overtake you. It's a road that you almost never come back from."

The three got into the elevator, no one was speaking until they got to the top. Ryoko motioned for Komaru to give her the communications laptop. She set it down and entered in her information. The "Connecting" Screen popped up showing that it was trying to establish a link.

"Hello?" Komaru yelled, "Hello? Can you hear me?"

Ryoko put her hand on Komaru's shoulder, "It's still connecting, don't worry."

Toko was strangely quiet, and Ryoko knew why. She wasn't cleared to be a part of this operation. She should hope to God that Makoto would be the one to answer, because Kyoko would give her an earful.

"..llo?", the connection was established, a bit fuzzy at first, but was getting progressively clearer.

"This is Future Foundation...14th Division … Makoto Naegi!"

Komaru's eyes widened, "Makoto?"

Makoto leaned into his monitor, "Komaru!?"

* * *

This was a good first step. Watching Toko squirm and try not to be noticed was a bonus for me. Makoto and Komaru had their own little reunion which was sweet. It's actually something of a treat to see a reunion like this in the foundation. Feels like every time we bring a family together, we bring the world a little closer to hope. Makoto also asked about me and my status. He's sweet like that.

… I'm going to come to regret writing that, I just know.

After Komaru and I briefed Makoto on the situation (and learning that Toko didn't tell Komaru ANYTHING!) Makoto breifed Komaru on… Everything. I Decided to leave the conversation. The less I hear about Junko Enoshima and the Tragedy, the better.

… And my boobs aren't that big...

* * *

"Listening to you guys, It's hard to believe it's real" Komaru said after Makoto explained everything about Ultimate Despair to her.

"If you have a hard time believing it, Th-Then talk to the mastermind herself" Toko replied

Ryoko winced.

"What?" Komaru asked.

"Toko!" Makoto shouted from the communcation device.

"No, It's okay, She knows everything else,"Ryoko Stated, "it's only fair that she knows the whole truth."

Ryoko steeled herself and sighed.

"I introduced you to myself as Ryoko Otonashi, but the truth is, I'm Junko Enoshima"

"W-what? But Makoto just said that she died."

"Metaphorically speaking, yes, she did. Back at Hope's Peak, they managed to detain Junko during a suicide attempt. They escaped the school and had to drag her along, making sure she didn't kill herself out of spite."

"Didn't stop you from being a major pain." Toko added, crossing her arms in a very Byakuya-like fashion.

"We were picked up by Future Foundation, who, of course had put her on trial once we got to HQ. They would have killed me if it weren't for your brother."

"But you're an agent!" Komaru said, "You've been helping us!"

"Junko had all of our memories of being classmates at Hope's Peak Academy removed," Makoto explained, "Execution was out of the question, So they decided to use the same procedure on her."

"Thus, I became Ryoko Otonashi, The Ultimate Analyst and an agent of Future Foundation's 14th division, and I plan to keep it that way."

"You- You're really haunted by this…"

Ryoko stayed Silent, but was then immediately caught up in a hug by Komaru.

"I'm so sorry!" Komaru cried.

Ryoko didn't know what to do at this point, "Uh…. Komaru?"

"All I'm doing is crying about how I want to get out of here, but you have the whole world on your shoulders. I can't even Imagine how you deal with it every day!"

Ryoko turned her head away, the younger girl still clutching on to her.

"It's… Fine, really."

Komaru turned to face her brother.

"I was going to ask you to come rescue me, but now, I'm going see this to the end!"

"Komaru! What are you saying?"

"I'm saying That I'm going to help Ryoko and Toko get Byakuya back!"

Toko stepped back, "W-what the hell? You keep crying about how you want to get out of this place and now you want to stay?"

"Were you going to let her leave?" Ryoko asked.

"What kind of question is that?" Toko fumed

"A fair one, if you think about it logically," Ryoko stated, "Byakuya is still alive, they're holding him hostage so that no other Foundation members come here. The Foundation interferes, Byakuya is Monokuma food. There's no way you would have let that happen so easily. You probably would have threatened to kill Komaru if it came down to it."

Toko stayed silent.

"Toko…" Komaru said, "Is that true…?"

"Whatever," Toko sulked, "I-it didn't come to that, s-so it doesn't matter"

"Guys, I think I'm losing the signal, can you read me?" Makoto said his picture getting fuzzier.

Komaru ran to the Laptop.

"Makoto?"

"Komaru! Can you…-ead Me? Komar-"

Makoto's face disappeared. Ready or not, it was time for the next chapter.

* * *

IF Entry 1

Um… I don't know if people read this or not, but my sister isn't in the best shape to write in here, so I am. We just told her the truth, and instead of killing someone like she did to Yasuke, she just started crying. I'm not sure If I'm ready to handle my sister like this. I'm not used to all of this hugging and affection. Despite the facts, Junko always acted like the older twin, but now, she's holding on to me and apologizing over and over again. Perhaps this is a fresh start for the both of us.


	4. Despair's Return

Komaru stared at the Monokuma controller, unsure of what to do. They had finally gotten this far, they had defeated Monaca's robot. Now the moment of truth had arrived, in the form of an annoyingly long debate on whether to smash the controller or not. Monoca seemed a bit too keen on destroying it leading Komaru to believe that something horrible and despair inducing would happen if the controller were to be damaged.

Komaru stepped back from Monaca, "N-no, no it's impossible … I … can't break it!"

"No, You're gonna break it alright, Monaca knows, " The green haired despair child explained.

"Huh?"

"You're gonna destroy the controller and the children's heads are gonna explode, and that's when the war begins! And the Successor, a new splendid symbol of despair will be born!"

"Puhuhuhu~"

The laugh permeated throughout the large hall. Toko's heart stopped. Byakuya always said it was bound to happen, but even Toko, taking her master's word as gospel, had hopped it would never come to pass.

"There's no way…" Kotoko gasped looking at the door.

The figure standing there was one that plagued the nightmares of the surviving members of Hope's Peak Class number 78.

"Wassup, Bitches? Junko Fucking Enoshima is back in business!"

"B-big Sis Junko?" Monaca asked.

Junko walked to the group, "So, what's this I keep hearing about a successor? You can't be any kind of Successor when the original is still here."

"Oh no, Monaca wasn't going to be the successor, it was going to be Miss Komaru Naegi." Monaca explained.

Junko paused, "Puhuhu~ Oh, that is so despairingly perfect, the Ultimate Hope's Little Sister becoming the next Junko Enoshima. I wouldn't be surprised if he fell into despair himself after learning that. There's no need for such a perfect plan to go to waste."

"L-like hell I'll let you do anything to Komaru!" Toko shouted

Junko strode behind Komaru completely ignoring Toko. She promptly plucked the controller out of Komaru's hands.

"So, What was the plan here?"

"Well, Big Sis Komaru thoroughly humiliated me and got that controller. Once she destroys it, all of the kid's head will explode!" Monaca explained, "So much blood on her hands, so much despair."

"Who cares if those brats die!?" Haiji yelled, "Compared to what they did to the adults, that's nothing"

"Komaru has nothing to do with your Revenge, this is bigger than that." Toko snapped.

"She's right, Big Brother, Miss Komaru has no relation to this, but I have something that will make her want revenge" Monaca said.

"Oooh, a motive, You know how Big Sis Junko loves her motives."

"Ryoko… Why are you doing this" Komaru asked.

"Puhuhu~ Darling, Ryoko is just another personality of mine, she never really existed. Now be a good little girl and see what Monaca made you."

Monaca clapped her hands and two Monochildren ran in with a tv. The Tv feed started, and as clear as day, the image showing were the hanging bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Naegi. Their children's names written backwards on Mrs. Naegi's skirt.

"What, More bodies again?" Toko asked, " You don't have to show them, you know, I'm already well aware of how terrible you are."

"After all of this you're still showing off, killing adults, how crazy are you?" Haiji yelled.

Komaru fell to the floor, devastated. Junko rounded back to face her as Monaca gloated about how her mother tried to reach out to them. The Room interrupted into another debate about the authenticity of the feed. Junko extended the controller to Komaru.

"It's fine…" Komaru said, "Give the remote to me."

"Komaru?" Toko asked

"Gladly," Junko said, "Remember: once you go down this road, there's no turning back."

Toko's eyes brightened, and she ran (in the loosest sense of the word) and grabbed the controller from Junko's hands.

"What are you doing?" Monaca asked innocently, "Outsiders have no business interrupting us."

"I'm not an outsider, I'm her friend," Toko said before turning her attention to Junko, "And you! What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"Is that seriously a question to be asking me?" Junko said.

"Y-you don't think this has gone on long enough? D-did you think she was suddenly going to get better after saying that? I-I thought...I-I thought you were also…"

"That's enough of this nonsense!" Haiji yelled, "Give me that damn controller!"

Haiji ran over to attack Toko, only to be met with a kick from Junko.

"You're right, Toko, this has gone far enough" Junko said, while undoing her hair ties, " I thought I could try to hold the floor long enough so that any real damage wouldn't happen. I was too late and… I'm sorry."

"Big Sis?"

'Junko' looked to Monaca, "Junko Enoshima is dead, and she will stay that way as long as I have something to say about it!"

Monaca paused, "Puuuhuhu~ Well the I guess then Miss Komaru will truly be the Successor! Just as soon as her escort gives her that controller."

"W-what makes you think I'll hand it over?"

Monaca produced a key, "Would you trade for the key to where we're keeping Byakuya Togami"

Before Toko could answer, the building began to rumble. Everyone looked toward the window to see Big Bang Monokuma.

Haiji gaped, "W-what the hell?"

"Aren't you and Papa the only ones who can pilot the Big Bang Monokuma, Big Bro? Isn't that how you programmed it?",Monaca asked.

The Monokuma punched through the window, scattering everyone. Toko took the chance to lead Komaru to the balcony. Ryoko, meanwhile, was knocked into a wall. She was reeling until she heard part of the ceiling collapse.

Ryoko stood up and tried to walk out to the balcony to check on Toko and Komaru.

"Big Sis…"

Ryoko stopped and saw Monaca, her legs crushed by the fallen rubble.

"I told you Before… That woman is dead." Ryoko said.

"How despair-inducing, that Big Sis Junko doesn't even know who she is. But it's still not enough." Monaca said, " Big Sis, you hate Monaca, don't you? For making you take part in breaking Miss Komaru? I bet you want to kill Monaca, don't you?"

"That's none of my business" Ryoko said flatly, "Well, to be more precise, It was my own decision. Now give me Byakuya's key"

"I guess Monaca doesn't have a choice," Monaca handed they key over.

"I'll let Komaru and Toko decide how to deal with you." Ryoko said as she walked towards the main hallway.

Ryoko walked through the

" That was an admirable performance."

Ryoko paused as she looked around for the voice. Out from the shadows walked the man who only chose to Identify himself as 'Servant'.

"Although, I would have seen through it at the very beginning. You don't know the true despair she felt with every fiber of her being. That disgusting aura isn't with you."

Ryoko sighed , "Why are you even here? I could arrest you right now."

"You could, and I would gladly go with you. Except it seems I have a few things to do in this town and I would much rather be arrested with the rest of them. Besides, I'm not so important that you would choose me over your partner."

Ryoko stayed silent, and the Servant continued.

"It's such a pity, I had thought you could be the hope I've been looking for, but it seems you, like me, are always walking the line. I wish you well, I hope we can meet again in better circumstances"

Entry 6

It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. It was stupid to think even posing as _her_ would be a good idea. It felt disgusting to even put those hair ties on. But, it was also scary how natural it felt. Like at any moment, I would be gone and Junko could be revived. I can't forgive myself for letting it go that far, for even letting Komaru see that motive. I can't get home soon enough. Ms. Gekkogahara and Usami never fail to brighten my day.

We rescued Byakuya. Toko surprisingly did not tell him about my little stunt, and I'm forever grateful. Another surprise came when Komaru announced that she was going to stay in Towa City and Toko basically volunteered herself to help. Which is just as well, the foundation can work through them so things don't escalate further.

I guess that servant was right… I am towing the line between hope and despair. I towed that line today and perhaps that I came out of it Still as Ryoko Otonashi. I'm stronger for it.

Extra

Ryoko found herself riding a freight elevator. She couldn't fathom how or why she was on the elevator. She would've laughed at how fitting it would be if her memory failed her, but the air was so thick with tension, she couldn't feel anything but dread.

The Elevator stopped, and on the other side were a circle of 16 podiums in front of what looked like a throne. Standing at the podium nearest the throne was Junko Enoshima.

"Welcome to The Class Trial for Ryoko Otonashi."


End file.
